We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
