Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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