She's JV to your varsity
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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