we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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