so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
