waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
