Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I AM VODKA MAN
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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