TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
