There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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