Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
