well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
