First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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