You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
