If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
