what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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