It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
