so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
