apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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