Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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