she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
