Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
