I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
