this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
