wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
operation have a gay friend backfired
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
