she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
