how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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