He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
