It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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