Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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