He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
