Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i now understand why vodka
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
