3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
