and you said cock pushups were impossible
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
