he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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