goodnight i made you a song goodbye
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
