she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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