is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
