I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Success! We fucked roommates!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
