Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
