also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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