M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
