So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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