how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
