Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
