im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
