i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just got carded by a ten year old.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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