it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
