woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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