Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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