Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
